Sunday, March 7, 2010

Face Book and Bitter Sweetness

When you get to be my age you find yourself skating more and more on your memories.
When the sun starts to set, your bright spots come in the form of old friends. Remembrances of wishes wished on a star.
A name. A place mentioned on a TV show. A song. All can trigger something obscure that immediately takes us back to a happier, livelier time.

The past few months I have been doing what a lot of us do on Face book. Looking up people we have memories of. Good memories. And when you get to be my age, those memories can be bitter sweet.

Tonight I called a guy from my past, we'll call Mike (cause that's his name). I had a crush on Mike in the 10th grade. He was a year ahead of me. And that in itself made him even more attractive to me. Because I was way ahead of myself age wise in school.
Mike was really something to me because he was sweet, was a fox, had long hair and played guitar. He also had some friends that rode around in a van and that was one of the coolest things you could do in 1973.
Mike and I never "hooked up", instead we did something a lot better. We became good friends. He is my brother.
When I talked to him tonight, he sounded the same as he did all those years ago.
We were actually friends beyond high school. He lived around the corner from me, in the same building but a separate entrance, when Sarah was a babe. He also lived a block down the same street from us when Donovan was a little guy. He became friends with my kids and he and I remained good friends when his girlfriend entered the picture. I have not talked with him in 20 years.
I loved him then and I still love him now. I hope with all my heart he will come and visit Larry and I. And bring his brother who I also came to know and love.

I also found another friend who I never got to speak with since 20 years ago, she passed away a few years back. I found her youngest daughter on facebook. The daughter has a picture of my old friend on her page, she looks sweet. But her eyes are hollow, due to alcoholism. You see, her older daughter, the one my Sarah grew up with, was killed in a go cart accident back in the late 90's and it drove my friend deeper into the bottle that was already pulling her in. The last time I saw her, I was leary of keeping contact with her. And I let our friendship fall by the wayside. I wish I could have said goodbye one last time. And been there for her when she lost her daughter.

Two different friends. Two different scenarios. One me. Back then we thought we would never get old. the world was our oyster. Every day a given.
I have learned that we are all different but we are all the same.
We grow up thinking we will be the same as we are in that moment. But life has a way of creeping in and taking over. We do not have control. Things happen, life goes on. We stay in touch, we lose touch. But all in all, we stay connected in our memories.


  1. One of the best part of this technological age is that you can be connected to new friends all over the world but it also allows you to remake connections with old friends. I have a friend that I have known since I was 12 ( I am now in my early 50's) We exchanged Christmas cards for many years but that was about it- Through the internet, we have re established our friendship. It is a lovely gift.
    Nice post- don't be too hard on yourself- Friendship is a ever evolving thing- like you said life does have a way of creeping in and taking over.
    It is good to pause and reflect and appreciate all that life has to offer.

  2. I agree on as we age our memories are huge gift!
    I want to tell you, that the internet has been a Godsend to me, especially since becoming disabled...I have lost my car (due to the loss of my income) so i am stuck in the house 90% of the time, and of that time I am alone 60% of the time...I have a handful of Dear internet friends. Unfortunately, I do not have any, anymore in my real life. I cut myself off from the 2 people I thought were my friends, but were actually 2-faced betrayers. I am slowly getting over that but it was hard. Having my internet friends has made it easier, and now that I am blogging and making even more friends, it is helping faster.

    Each day is not a given but a gift...and I hope each one holds something good for each and every one of us!

  3. Stopping by from SITS - what a lovely post and a wonderful reminder to not have regrets... I have to say that I have had to stop talking to people who were always bringing me down, because they didn't want to go anywhere but further down... I'm sad though that sometimes I have had to make those hard decisions... friendship is a work in progress and a two way street... both people have to want to work at it... I'm so glad you've reconnected with at least one old friend and I'm sorry for your loss ... no matter how long its been.


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